My Favorite Job Ever: Why VideoOut Changed My Life and Taught Me What It Means to Lead
After leaving TED in the wake of a heart-wrenching sexual harassment scandal, I found myself bouncing between a series of toxic jobs. There were places where leadership was blatantly racist, homophobic, or just plain cruel. I saw people exploited, discriminated against, and even shouted at by the very people who were supposed to guide them.
WTF? How is anyone supposed to thrive in a job like that? These are the kinds of environments that suck the life out of you, leaving you wondering if this is what work is meant to be — soulless and oppressive. I was ready to give up. But then came VideoOut, and everything changed.
When I founded VideoOut, the goal was to create a place that didn’t just nourish me as a person but also fueled my passion for creating positive change. I built a team (Selena, Dustin, Katy, Oscar, Jeff, Ted, Ken, and countless volunteers). I didn’t know what to do other than avoid doing what so many bad leaders had done to me. I knew I didn’t want to create a bad job for my team, so I did my best.
I think it worked! We set out to highlight the authentic stories of LGBTQ+ people — stories often erased by misinformation and prejudice. This mission felt necessary especially given the political climate of the time. LGBTQ+ existence was being erased from the White House website, and threats to overturn hard-won rights were constantly in the news cycle. VideoOut allowed me to travel across the U.S., listening to countless LGBTQ+ people share their lived experiences, their biggest fears, and their resilience in the face of adversity. VideoOut not only amplified the voices of queer people, it was a resounding chorus of real people that demanded equity and liberation. We raised $3 million, built one of the world’s largest libraries of LGBTQ+ narratives, and produced community programming all over the United States. To this day, VideoOut remains one of my proudest achievements, and it’s the job that taught me how to demand what I deserve and to lead a team that’s empowered to do the same.
It wasn’t just a job — it was my calling. For ten years, it aligned with everything I believed in, creating a world where authenticity and inclusivity are priority, and where everyone, no matter who they are, can see themselves reflected in the stories we tell.
Here are some stories from VideoOut:
Here are some animations from our education initiative:
Lessons From the Bad Jobs
Before VideoOut, I worked in environments that were anything but good for my well-being. I’ve learned the hard way what a bad job looks like: if it demands more from you than it gives back, if it makes you feel small or asks you to be someone you’re not, it’s a bad job. The worst part? So many of us have been conditioned to accept these environments as normal. But I’m here to tell you—they’re not.
Bad jobs ask you to sacrifice your soul at the altar of someone else’s success. Good jobs, on the other hand, nourish your soul. They give you space to grow, collaborate, and create, all while respecting who you are as a person. My hope for you is that you find your element, that your work becomes an intersection of what you love, what the world needs, and the compensation you deserve.
Lessons From Being a Leader
Through VideoOut, I’ve also learned what it means to be a good leader. Leadership isn’t about telling people what to do—it’s about working with them, creating an environment where everyone can thrive. A bad leader is driven by ego, demands more than they give, and sees their team as a means to an end. A good leader listens, collaborates, and makes sure the people around them are empowered to succeed. Here are the 10 lessons I’ve learned along the way:
10 Lessons for Avoiding Bad Jobs and Becoming a Good Leader
Know Your Worth: The first step in avoiding a bad job is knowing that you deserve respect, fair pay, and a healthy work-life balance. Don’t settle for less.
Set Boundaries Early: A good leader respects boundaries and ensures their team feels comfortable doing the same. If a job expects you to give more than is reasonable, it's not worth your time.
Cultivate Empathy: A great leader understands that work isn’t just about tasks—it’s about people. Empathy helps leaders connect with their team, creating an environment where everyone feels supported.
Embrace Collaboration: True leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about creating a space where the team can solve problems together and contribute their unique perspectives.
Celebrate Differences: Inclusivity is essential to building a strong team. When you foster an environment where diversity thrives, you empower everyone to bring their full selves to the table.
Be Humble: Leadership isn’t about being the smartest person in the room. It’s about listening, learning, and uplifting others to reach their fullest potential.
Lead by Example: Don’t ask your team to do anything you wouldn’t do yourself. If you’re in the trenches with them, they’ll feel more valued and motivated.
Encourage Growth: A good leader invests in the personal and professional growth of their team. Help your team members advance in their careers, even if that means they eventually leave for new opportunities.
Stay Nimble: Things change, and a great leader adapts. When new information or feedback comes in, don’t be afraid to pivot and adjust your approach to meet the team’s needs.
Find Joy in the Work: If you can’t find joy in what you’re doing, it’s time to rethink either the job or the approach. A good leader shows that work can be meaningful, fulfilling, and even fun.
So, here’s my challenge to you: Don’t settle for less. Whether you’re an employee or a leader, you deserve to be in a space that feeds your soul, lifts you up, and allows you to show up as your most authentic self. And if you’re leading, lead with heart. Be the kind of leader who makes the world—at least the workplace—feel a little more like home.
Let’s make work better, together.
PS: I’d like to shout out some amazing leaders I’ve had the privilege of witnessing. Thank you to Logan Smalley (TED), Kelly Stoetzel (TED), Selena Roberts (Flex Pharma, VideoOut), Emilie Soffe (Farm Sanctuary), Jeff Doyle (VideoOut), Kevin Hager (Understood), Teju Ravilochan (Gather For), and Romain Vakilitabar (Pathos Labs).